It is horrible to watch myself from the outside and see how I transform from the mildly odd but fairly balanced person into a bundle of neuroses. I interpret anything Ernest says or does as another offense to my constantly low self-esteem. I know how relationships affect my emotional health but I somehow figured that if the other half is a gay man, it would be different*. However, gay or not, he is still a man. And that is the reason why he will go to football practice on Sunday while I come to visit him in London. This just takes another piece out of the game of jenga aka my ego. That and that he has about four times as many products in the bathroom as I do.

* And different it is: Besides thinking that I am getting too boring or annoying or daft for him to love me, it could also just be that because I am a girl, or rather, not a part of the gay community around which his whole life revolves.

I met E when I moved to London. I've always had a lucky streak with finding flats and London was no different: The flatshare was close to a train station which took me directly to work and I had my own bathroom but but the best part was the flatmate that came with it. Cecily was a darling of a girl and a party machine beyond her years. With her came a crowd of fun people to pass the London nights. One of them was her good gay friend Earnest, who had slept with over hundred women before he came out three years ago. I thought it was a funny story and at the few events we met, we had friendly chats but nothing beyond that. Then I took another job in Berlin and moved away.

In the end, cheap flight carriers were to blame for the complications of my love life. When I left for Berlin in June, I promised Cecily to see her again soon. She had her annual Danish party weekend with her friends planned in November and I promised to join. To be honest, I wasn't very serious about it because I had expected the flight tickets be beyond my means but easyjet took care of that. When the weekend finally came, Cecily had to stay in London for work. I was very disappointed but she persuaded me to go anyway to party with her friends that I knew from London. And so I packed my bag and went and had a great time. Only thing was that I forgot to bring a sleeping bag and had to share a blanket... and so it all began.

Some people consider abstract concepts like justice almost like a law of physics. I'm not so sure about the justice part but what I am certain of is that irony is an integral part of the workings of the world. After enjoying two extremely good years of single life I was determined to continue the good streak and continue avoiding relationships. I was so sure that I even did a bet that I would stay single in 2006. Boy, was I wrong. And that's not where wrong ends, this boy meets girl story has a twist: my boy E had his coming out 3 years ago. Clearly the universe has a sense of humour.